In 4 days we will have been in Australia for 18 months. It's been a bit of a whirlwind.
For the first 6 months we were shell shocked with our new surroundings and our new circumstances. For the 6 months after that we were actively trying to find a comfort zone, like a dog circling around and around before plopping down suddenly. For the last 6 months we've been taking stock of where we are and thinking about the future.
I won't lie, the last few months have been tough. There was the stress of our housing crisis that left us a little rattled. There are also a bunch of other 'little' things around the kids, our jobs, and the daily minutia. I have been particularly on edge since I changed jobs (sort of) and now am transitioning to a different stage of my career. So there's been, what feels like, a constant background noise of tension over the last few months.
For the first time in months, Nadia and I went golfing this week. As a matter of fact, we went two days in a row. Actually, it was more like two nights in a row. We went twilight golfing at the course near our house. The tee-times start at 4:30pm. We managed to get about 6 holes done. On the second night we were walking on the fairway as the sun was setting and a flock of about 40 black Cockatoos flew over our heads. They were followed by some Lorikeets and Conures. (The parrot type of birds tend to get most active at dusk and dawn.) Keep in mind, it's the end of April in the Southern Hemisphere, which is the equivalent to the end of October in the civilized world, and we're out on the golf course in shorts and t-shirts watching flocks of parrots pass gracefully overhead. In general, it was one of those moments when we couldn't help but appreciate the positives. It's the little things that help and it helps to leave the house to experience those little things.
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Cyrus is still in New Zealand and he's scheduled to come 'home' this Friday. Communication has been difficult at times. New Zealand is even further behind, technologically speaking, than Perth. Even so, he's managed to check in with us on occasion and he seems to be having a good time. He spent the first few days near Auckland. Then they drove to Wellington and spent some time with Tanya's extended family on her dad's side. Cyrus said that it's quite green and hilly and reminds him a little bit of Canada (with the obvious exception of Saskatchewan). We are really looking forward to seeing him and hearing more details about his trip.
Last night, as Nadia and I were talking about Cyrus' trip we were thinking about how we didn't appreciate the kids enough when they were young. We were too busy with life to enjoy it and we didn't squeeze every drop we could out of the experience. Of course, that's never really changed. Sure, you can reminisce and think about how things should have been but nothing changes if you don't do more than just reminisce. With hindsite and retrospect you can look back and know that despite challenging circumstances everything will turn out okay. It's harder to do that in the moment when you're facing the challenges and daily grind of life. I don't really know where that leaves me at the moment but I'm pretty sure, despite the challenges, frustrations and the unknowability (?) of the future, I'm pretty sure everything will turn out okay. That's the attitude I'm trying to take forward and hopefully when I look back in 15 years I'll be satisfied that I was close to getting it right.
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Today is my 40th birthday.
On the one hand it feels like a milestone but on the other it's just another day.
On the one hand I feel old and tired but on the other I feel like a pup.
On the one hand I feel like I haven't accomplished much in life but on the other I can't believe how much I've done so far.
Fortunately, I probably used up my mid-life crisis on the move to Australia so I don't expect any sportcars or motorcycles in my immediate future.
Cash gifts are acceptable. I promise they won't be used on a motorcycle.
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