The dirty dozen

Some random musings and observations:

1) I don't know what to call people that live in Perth. Are they Perthians, Pertharians, Perthonians, Perthesians, Perthoners, Perthvites, Perthites, Perthers (who believe that Obama was born in Perth), Perthists, Perthariers or Mates? The fact of the matter is that you call people in Perth the same thing you call us: immigrants. Like Calgary it is difficult to find people here that are actually from here. There are Brits galore but here they are referred to as "Poms", ie. Prisoners of Motherland. There are lots of Indonesians, Malaysians, Thai, folks from other parts of Australia, some Canadians, Italians, Germans, Spanish, but not many Americans for some reason (don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining). For example, my team at work is comprised of two Aussies from the East coast and four Poms (3 from Manchester, 1 from Sunderland) and now 1 Canuck.. Needless to say I'm already sick of hearing about "footy". One thing that most people agree on is that the "WA" in Western Australia actually stands for "wait awhile". For instance, we were assured that our Wi-fi would be fixed by 6 pm. It's now 7:15 and we haven't heard from anyone.

2) There is no orange cheese in this continent. Cheddar is white and Marble is white and darker white. It is tasty though. The first trip to Subway was a little awkward.

3) Perth was originally settled by British sea captain Jay Walker. Okay, it wasn't really but it should have been because jaywalking in Perth is rampant. The cross walks are used as guidelines only and people cross anytime, anywhere. This is odd especially considering that vehicles DO NOT yield for pedestrians anywhere unless the car is waiting at a red light. Also, at some intersections in CBD diagonal crossing is okay. Also, you are not allowed to turn left on a red light here (equivalent to turning right on a red in Calgary). You just have to wait until the light turns green. Finally, there are a lot of vehicles, including city buses, that run on natural gas. The drivers are not particularly courteous, however, I don't think I've heard any car horns yet.

4) Smokers. There are a lot of them and they do it everywhere outdoors. In fact, for such a sporty culture I haven't found the average Aussie to be particularly svelt. Must be their diet of beer, meat and cigarettes.

5) When they talk about hockey here they are referring to field hockey. Unacceptable. Field hockey is played by tanned, toned girls in short skirts. Real hockey is played by sweaty, violent men who spit and curse a lot. Hmm...I may need to rethink this.

6) The aussie accent is actually quite easy to understand. Apparently, in Western Australia the accent is more subtle than in Sydney, Melbourne, etc. The most difficult accent we've encountered is a Scot. It got worse after a couple beers and then we all started to speak with a Scottish accent. Ach-begora!

7) Shopping in Perth is like shopping in Plato, Saskatchewan in 1982. Many of the stores are closed on Sunday and most of the malls and stores close at 6pm except on Thursday which is considered a shopping day. We are planning to go car shopping this weekend but they are closed on Sunday and only open from 8am to 1pm on Saturday. Don't they know we want to spend money we don't have on stuff we don't need!?

8) So we now live in a sub-tropical climate about 2 hours north of the wine region of Australia. We can't find table grapes to save our lives. Apparently all of the grapes are being used for wine, in which case no complaints here. But seriously, the fruit should be better. And cheaper. And people should give us money for no reason. Oh, wait a minute, they did. That's why we moved here.

9) Whipping cream- check. Skim milk-check. Homo milk-check. 2%-check. No coffee cream. Savages!

10) Speaking of coffee, they have instant coffee and cappuccino makers but no 'regular' coffee makers. Savages!

11) Pertharitions generally define themselves as NOR (north of river) or SOR (south of river). In fact there are two rivers that flow into the estuary that then flows into the Indian Ocean. The ocean is where the beaches are and therefore where we will be. Soon we'll be NOR and the SOR will be our sworn enemies. We'll make jokes about them because they live close to us but far enough away that we can make fun of them without them hearing. Speaking of which, did you hear the one about the guy from Edmonton...Actually, people here are, for the most part, quite friendly. I promised myself that I would try to be nicer to people. Not off to a great start but I'll keep trying.

12) This has been the coldest spring in Perth in recent memory. Today the high was 24c. I was waiting to cross the street diagonally when a Perthorian turned to me and asked " do you know what's in two weeks?". I turned to him and thought "why are you talking to me?" but instead answered "no". He then said "summer, but you wouldn't know it!" I then explained that "I'm from Canada, eh? So this is great." Yes, it was a stock tourist answer but he started it. The good news is that starting tomorrow it's going to be in the high 20's which is more typical for this time of year. January and February sometimes get to 40. Just another excuse to hit the beach and not talk to strangers.

And one bonus...

13) This area of Oz is known as "The Sunset Coast" because of the beautiful sunsets over the Indian ocean. However, we haven't had a chance to see it yet, nor have we had a chance to see the southern night sky. So it's kinda like being in Calgary but in the summer, with an ocean, beach, palm trees, ocean breezes, funny accents and cars on the wrong side of the road. All we need is a home, a car, a school or friends.

By the way, our air freight arrived today so that's one less thing we have to complain about. At this rate we may run out entirely and just have to be happy.